


Gulliver Had Nothing On Brad Colbert

by KahtyaSofia



Category: Generation Kill
Genre: Gen, Kid Fic, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-14
Updated: 2009-11-14
Packaged: 2017-10-02 16:01:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KahtyaSofia/pseuds/KahtyaSofia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brad and kids. That's all there is to it.<br/><a href="http://s664.photobucket.com/albums/vv10/kahtyasofia/Alex/?action=view&current=ESGALLERY26.jpg"><img/></a></p>
            </blockquote>





	Gulliver Had Nothing On Brad Colbert

**Author's Note:**

> I am in complete revolt against my Torchwood fandom. I'm throwing a hissy fit and this is the result. I don't like kidfic but many here do like it. I DO like to write what other people like and see if I can do it justice. I also needed to do an emotional 180 for a night and this is the result.

_(Based on a real life event from my life.)_

How in the hell had Brad let Nate talk him into this? A day at the Wild Animal Park. With breeders. And their spawn. He must have it bad for Nate's ass to let himself be roped into this goat fuck.

"Me too, me too," one of the urchins chanted, tugging on the leg of his jeans.

Brad looked down into the smudged face of one of Poke's progeny.

"Only room for one at a time," he informed the tiny person as he hid behind his aviators. He spun in a circle, taking care to avoid the girl at his feet, causing the legs of the Munchkin that hung down his back to swing away from his body.

The giggle of delight filled the air around them.

"Brad," the pre-teen boy cried, running up to walk beside him as they crossed the park to the Tram entrance.

"What? You sorry excuse for a Lilliputian," Brad readied himself for Pappy's nephew's rambling dissertation about his father's pussy motorcycle. Still, it was Pappy's nephew so he made the appropriate sounds of interest and asked questions he knew the runt would have the answers to.

"Next!" he announced, prying the hands of the devil's spawn on his back away from his neck and setting the thing down on her feet before grabbing both of her sister's hands with his own. So small and delicate her little bones felt in his grip. So fragile.

Brad swung devil's-spawn-two up and around onto his back and waiting to feel her fingers lock around his neck. He hooked his arms back under her shorts-clad posterior to give her a secure seat on which to sit as they walked.

Cara Wynn was right in front of Brad. She had someone's baby on her shoulder and it was watching Brad with wide, focused blue eyes.

"Cara," Brad called. "Stop that Lollipop Guild Member from staring at me." He stuck his tongue out at the enraptured…kid.

Damn. He'd run out of derogatory things to call them.

"If you weren't so freakishly tall, Colbert," Cara called back. "They wouldn't be quite so fascinated with you. It's like their own, personal freak show."

Brad was about to make an appropriately withering response when he was distracted by the amused snort from beside him.

"What?" he asked a smirking Nate.

"I'm trying to decide which Pied Piper joke to make first," he replied unapologetically, shaking his head.

The response Brad wanted to give wasn't appropriate in present company so he bit it back. Nate would pay later. Of this, Brad was assured.

He wasn't sure what animals they saw on the Tram ride. Brad was constantly shifting someone's errant child in his lap, removing tiny hands from his eyes as they tried to play 'guess who' and being deafened by the endless stream of, "Brad, look; look, Brad; Brad, look; Brad, Brad, Brad; lookit, lookit, lookit."

And all the while Nate sat pressed tightly to his side, a barely suppressed smirk on his tempting mouth, reveling in Brad's predicament.

He finally ducked into the head just to get a break.

Breeders. Always inflicting their brats on others.

Brad wandered slowly toward the small, gathered crowd. An animal handler was out among the visitors, a very large bird of prey sitting vigilantly on her leather-gloved hand. Their entire group, kids included, had gathered around to hear the handler speak. They were getting a very close look at a very large bird and everyone was fascinated. Brad had to admit he was intrigued himself.

The handler explained that the bird was a Red Tailed Hawk, very common in California. This particular bird, Stryker, had been injured and rehabilitated at the Park but due to a deformed wing, could never be returned to the wild.

Brad admired the sheer ferocity of the animal. It was built entirely for speed, precision and best of all; killing. Stryker was a good two feet in height with a nearly five-foot wingspan. It's red-hued feathers shone brightly in the California sun. It's head snapped from one angle to another, quietly but intently taking in everyone around him.

He found himself relating to Stryker.

Brad was standing to the back of the crowd, conscious that his height and width too easily obscured the more vertically challenged. He glanced around one more time to make sure he wasn't unduly blocking someone's view, when he noticed a pip-squeak staring at him from the other side of the crowd. This pip-squeak was not part of their group.

She was a young blue-eyed blond, her diapered rump settled neatly on her mother's hip. She didn't blink, but chewed ferociously on her own finger. Brad raised his aviators to make himself just a little less scary to her. He smiled. She didn't blink. He lifted one hand and gave her a small, fingers-only wave.

She gave him a shy smile around her soggy finger.

"A little young for you, isn't she, Colbert?" Nate asked quietly as he came to stand next to Brad.

"That's just too sick, even for a Marine," Brad replied in a low voice. He could feel Nate's heat along his side and, as always, he liked it.

He smiled wider at the little girl and waved again, mouthing 'hello'.

She grinned again and buried her face in her mother's neck. The woman glanced around and caught Brad's eye and smiled.

"Your power over women amazes me, Brad," Nate teased.

"It's my power over you that you really like," Brad shot back.

Nate simply hummed in response.

Brad watched the little girl squirm in her mother's arms until she succeeded in getting herself set down on her feet. Before her mother could react, she tore her hand away and made her unsteady yet determined way through the scattered legs of the crowd. Right up to Brad.

Her mother was inhibited by the sparse crowd in a way her smaller daughter had not been. She called her daughter in a hoarse whisper, trying desperately to not disturb the hawk or the handler.

"Maddy," she called. "Maddy, come back here."

Maddy reached Brad in record time for one on such shaky legs. She grabbed onto his pant legs and stared up at him. He wondered how she didn't break her neck, bending it back that far.

Brad bent over at the waist and whispered, "Hello, Maddy." He then took her tiny, chubby hands in his own, gently turned her around and gave her the smallest of nudges back in the direction of her mother.

Maddy's mother snatched her up and settled her back on her hip, mouthing a silent 'thank you' to Brad. He inclined his head in acknowledgement even as Maddy began to squirm again. Her mother set her down just to avoid dropping her.

Brad watched in amazement as Maddy toddled through the crowd once again until she had hold of his legs.

"Hi, Maddy," Brad whispered. He turned the tiny girl again even as he said, "You walk so good. Now go back to your mom."

Maddy wove through the crowd like a drunken Marine on libo but she made it back to her mother. This time, her mom didn't bother to pick her up, but just held onto her hand. Maddy pulled free almost immediately and headed right for Brad.

This time he was aware that some in the crowd, Nate included, were watching them. He knelt down this time, catching little Maddy around the waist when she reached him. "Hello again, Maddy," he said, immediately turning her and sending her back to her mother. He was very conscious of all the eyes on him and took great care to appear as non-threatening as he would ever be capable of. He was tall, he screamed military, he was a grown man and Maddy was a very little girl. He was also a stranger.

"What," he heard Nate ask from behind him, "about you has her so fascinated?"

Brad could only shake his head. Maddy was already on her way back to him.

"Look who's here," Brad said, arranging his face into a look of exaggerated pleasure and surprise. "It's Maddy!"

He turned the little girl toward her mother and watched her nearly run through the crowd only to turn and waddle back in his direction.

Everyone seemed to be watching them now.

This time, when Maddy reached him, Brad grasped her small, delicate body and stood. He clutched Maddy's legs to his chest so they could look at one another. "Look! It's Maaaddddyyyyy," he cantillated, then set her right back down to make her way to her mother.

Resigned to the game now, her mother turned her back to Brad and watched closely as Maddy's little feet slapped the pavement in her haste.

Brad picked her up, gave her a little toss into the air, was rewarded with a giggle, and then clutched her legs to his chest again.

"It's Maddy," he said again, setting her down and watching her practically tear back to her mother.

This time, when Brad picked Maddy up, he felt someone's hand on his own shoulder.

"Dog," Poke said from beside him. "She's too young to marry. You're gonna have to throw her back."

"Ignore him, Maddy," Brad said to the tiny little person he had settled on his hip. "He's upset you thought he was uglier than me." He crossed to Maddy's mother and handed her over. It seemed Maddy went reluctantly.

"Sorry," her mom said, unduly contrite. "I really don't know why she did that."

"Don't worry about it," Brad reassured her. "She's a cute kid."

"Bye, Maddy," Brad addressed himself directly to the smiling blue eyes. He gave her a small wave and once again, she grinned around the finger she'd popped into her mouth.

He rejoined his group on their way to the Gorilla exhibit.

Nate was watching him with a steady, inscrutable expression.

"What?" Brad asked, uncomfortable and defensive under Nate's direct gaze.

"Iceman, my ass," Nate scoffed for Brad's ears only. "You're nothing but a big softy."

"Parts of me beg to differ," Brad smirked.

Nate's only answer was an eloquently raised eyebrow.


End file.
